First Lie

I’m sure I lied before this, but it’s the first lie that comes to mind….Santa Claus!

In first grade, I was walking home from school with my friend Eric Berkowitz. He told me that Santa Claus wasn’t real. He was Jewish and didn’t celebrate Christmas, so I thought he was just jealous. To my shock and 6 year old horror, my mother confirmed what Eric had told me.

I really didn’t understand why I had been duped. I mean, why tell a kid that something is real when it’s not. Was it some kind of sick and cruel joke? Couldn’t I have handled the truth? Wouldn’t I have enjoyed Christmas just as much if I knew the gifts were coming from my parents and not a fabricated story of a man in the red suit?

I wanted to bust out and tell everyone, but my mom insisted that the story is for little kids and that I shouldn’t ruin it for them.

So, at my uncle and aunts’ Christmas party, there I was, in the living room with a few of the younger kids, lying about Santa with the adults. I was telling them that Santa was as real as anything, while winking at Aunt Barbara, making sure that she knew I knew the deal. I was now one of the holiday grown ups. And I was both proud and disgusted with myself.

Years later, an Atheist friend told me there was no God. After years of researching that one, I figure it’s true. There is no old man with a beard sitting on a cloud watching your genitals. Never was, and never will be. No lie.

Who created you? Well, I don’t want to ruin it for you, but remember your mom and dad? Yup, they did it again.